The Detritus of Life
We all accumulate “stuff” and we justify this accumulation by saying that we may use it “later.” Have you ever noticed that the words Later and Now do not even share the same letters? Later never arrives, yet Now never leaves. Is it not best to put something to use now rather than wait for the Later that will never occur?
The stuff this essay is about is not the physical, the stuff you throw in the junk drawer in the kitchen. The stuff this writer discusses is the mental junk that accumulates over the years. The memories of past tragedies and triumphs that, over time, become much more significant in our minds than when they occurred. The minor slight by a clerk in a store that gets magnified in our minds to the point where one makes the decision to never shop in that store again. The constructive criticism by the boss about how a particular procedure is done that becomes in our psyche a severe questioning of our competence. The tiff that evolves into a lovers’ quarrel that becomes a full-blown argument that ends up in divorce court. Then there are also the times when things go your way. The time your high school team beat the crosstown arch-rivals, the perfect comeback line to some idiot’s remarks, the perfect attendance award you won in grade school or the certificate of recognition by your employer, club or community.
What good does all this stuff do now? Does having perfect attendance in the third grade mean anything when it comes to the forty years of your working life? Does that certificate of recognition prepare you for the future? Will that win against your rivals result in a better family life or a job promotion later? Of course not, yet we want to revel in the triumphs for as long as we can and find some lesson that may help us in the future from the tragedies, but we all must move on with our lives. Finding lessons to live by in the wins and losses we experience are good. Knowing what to do right the next time you are faced with a situation makes it much easier to get through it. This writer argues that it is best to suffer major disappointments and experience major success early in life so as to be better prepared the next time they occur. Just don’t sit on your laurels, or the thorns.
It also helps to observe how other people handle similar situations properly and improperly. For example, observing Donald Trump who took his inheritance of a few million dollars and parlayed it into multiple billions versus the lottery winner who squanders his winnings and is broke in five years. An argument could be made that Mr. Trump observed how his father made his wealth and just followed the template whereas the lottery winner could not benefit from such as role model. Pshaw! There are hundreds of books written by or about wealthy people to use as object lessons, some by Mr. Trump himself. This is true for any successful endeavor whether it’s starting a business or sailing around the world.
You may have heard that organizing experts, or even your mother, say to get rid of anything you have not used in six months. We even have mini-celebrations such as Spring Cleaning or Yard Sales to recognize the importance of getting rid of the stuff that occupies to much space in our lives. Let’s do that for the old memories. Learn the lessons, apply them them Now in your current endeavor, and you end up with a new memory of success that will hold the lesson until the next time you can apply it, and that next time is . . . Now.
